Epiphany by Fire

"Ashes of Love, cold as ice,
You made the bet, I paid the price.
Our Love is gone, there's no doubt,
Ashes of Love, the flame's burned out."


I came upon this realization by way of an "epiphany by fire"...let me explain. On a recent camping trip with my daughter and her family, I sat by the fire alone after everyone had turned in for the night following a fun-filled but exhausting day.

I was watching the fire die down when I noticed a particular ember slowly lose it's flame. Just as it was about to turn into a glowing coal, the flame relit and shone brightly for a few seconds, then retreated into the coal again. This continued a few times until finally the flame could no longer be sustained and was absorbed into the ember, where it slowly lost its heat and turned to ash. I was struck by how it related to the way I'd been feeling over the last few months with respect to a loss I had several years ago, but really hadn't completely come to terms with.

Time is a funny thing, and seems to alter our perception of events. We seem to forget the pain brought upon us and let nostalgia mask reality, so that only the good memories and feelings are remembered. When we find the courage to look behind the mask, as I have recently, the true reality is revealed. By finally taking that look, I have accepted that the reality did not in any way resemble the fantasy I held on to so fiercely. Love, just like the flame, cannot be sustained without the fuel it needs to survive.

I have been holding up broken bridges to the past, rather than facing the daunting task of starting down a new road. I have found that I can no longer bear the weight of those bridges and have chosen to let them fall. Although at first it felt like being thrown off a cliff in the dark, I am comfortable in my new reality and look forward to setting new fires...all I have to do is have the courage to strike the match.